Godspell closed just the other day and I am so overwhelmed with gratitude and joy. This process has been long, insightful, creative, inspiring, and so so so full of love, dedication, and hard work. I remember the feeling of the first rehearsal and knowing that even though I would definitely have my work cut out for me, it would all be worth it. I keep thinking back to the first Klein show I was given the opportunity to act in, Pride and Prejudice, and remembering how nervous I was and how I was always scared of messing up, yet this department welcomed me with open arms. I know that making choices and getting out of my own way is something that I still struggle with but I can feel a significant amount of growth from Pride and Prejudice to Godspell and things can only go up from here. I am leaving this process knowing that I am not perfect and there is still so much more that I have to learn and I am excited to do so.
This semester, I have made a significant amount of discoveries about what an acting process looks like for me. Doing this project allowed me to dig deeper surrounding skills that I had already tried and to discover completely new ways of thinking. Despite any challenges, I am proud of myself for making choices and trying new things. I have never been able to sing and move so freely. I have discovered new ways to move my body and my voice and relish in the fact that there is more to learn. I have broken old patterns and made discoveries that I would have never considered doing even six months ago. While this character analysis process was quite different from anything that I explored during John Proctor is the Villain I learned so much about how I analyze a character. I found exploring playfulness and childlike energy to be very beneficial and allowed me to be creative in ways that I never thought of before. Specifically, within Uta Hagen’s nine questions, I took special care with the relationships question. This process allowed me to fully understand how important it is to know how your character feels about the people that they interact with and how we must feel the feelings. Something that stuck with me throughout this process and during John Proctor is the Villain is feeling the feelings and not indicating that feeling. If I feel it so will the audience and so will my scene partner.
I have said this before, but I have genuinely never felt so connected to a cast that I have been a part of. These people are truly special and one of the most beneficial elements of this process has been the opportunity to learn from those around me. I love that I was able to observe and listen to what my peers were discovering and try new things out for myself. This group of people were dedicated to making the show our best work and we often had conversations about how we were going to accomplish that.
During my freshmen year, I had a conversation with Mina Sollars about how I was so scared and excited to begin working on a Klein show. I looked up to her so much and remember her telling me that she trusts this team and that once I got in the room I would be able to leave the day behind me and focus. In this conversation we talked about the opening night performance and I was telling her how anxious I was and she looked at me and said “your hands will not shake, you are ready and it will be great.” I think about this every time I am about to go onstage and feel how lucky I am to have had advice from people like her. Community building is a chain reaction and I am so glad that I am a part of that. What is that if not the purpose of Godspell? I can only hope that I got to give that back to those who are now in the position I once was.
I have a lot of trouble outright saying that I did a job well done. Sometimes I feel like if I say that, it is not true. I am incredibly proud to say that this time around, I did a damn good job and I cannot wait to take another huge step forward in my journey. As we sang the final note on closing night I truly felt this wholeheartedly. I have learned how to channel my childlike energy, devise a thoughtful character, and better understand the importance of creating and striving for excellence despite all odds. For this, I am so grateful. We have built a beautiful city and my heart is so full of pride and pure happiness.
“Brick by brick, heart by heart.”