The way that I approached this character analysis process is a little different from the way that I have done character work in the past. The biggest difference this time around is that my character is me but different. I started answering Uta’s questions and then added more details that might be a little different from my truth when we were given some character traits at the design presentation. I feel it is necessary to note that all of this information is still rooted in my identity as a person. I simply devised some differences to put myself into the world. Something else that I focused on VERY heavily was the childlike energy that I bring into this character, I go into much more detail about this in the “Childlike Energy” section of this website.
Learning About Rachel Godspell
Traits given from the design presentation: Midwestern, traditional values, shy, works at fitting in.
1. Who am I?
My name is Rachel Piotrowski and I am a 21 year old college student with a bubbly demeanor and fiery red hair. I have bluey green eyes and freckles that I love. I have my dad’s face shape and my mom’s nose. I am now proudly curvy but it took me a very long while to be proud of this. I feel this is evident in the way that I carry myself sometimes. I live on campus right now and I love my living situation. I am interested in theatre, the storytelling aspect has and will always continue to bring me a great deal of joy. I feel a deep overwhelming need to be present in this world and convey information. I love to read and learn new things. Getting to dive inside the mind of another human to see their thought process intrigues me and makes me think about my own choices deeper. My main focuses have been the writings of Socrates, Marianne Williamson, and Hegel. I have been learning about their work in my Religion class. The differences between their studies are astounding! The philosopher that I think about the most is Socrates. Socrates brings interesting points to religion that I feel are necessary to understand that we create, grow, and learn at different levels and have ideas that can change based upon what we hear from others. Aside from the readings of philosophers, I also enjoy reading for fun! I love to read contemporary fiction and novels that are fun, but still make me think about the world as a whole. I also really love to junk journal in my free time. It helps me to keep track of my memories and make them all the more special. As for my career, I think Philosophy or law would be a very fun career to pursue but I am also highly interested in the idea of going into the anthropology field or doing something that involves a lot of research. I am happy to be exploring what it means to be in a community as that is not something that I think I have ever felt before. I sometimes have a little bit of trouble finding my place and fitting in so I would love to use my experiences to make some friends and learn how other people think.
2. What time is it?
It is current day, but that does not matter much. We jump into different times to tell different stories. We are an entity that is continuously ever changing and able to defy what it means to be set in a certain time. Sometimes there might be a cool Fall breeze. The same breeze that you might feel when you are playing outside with your friends as a child. In the middle of a game of tag. It is a lovely sensation and a lovely time of day.
3. Where am I?
I have come to the theatre to see a performance. I am sitting in the front row of the house and people from all walks of life surround me. I listen to the whispers of conversation and hear people anticipating the start of the show. I am not really sure what to expect but above all else, I am excited.
4. What surrounds me?
When I enter this world I am surrounded by what seems to be staircases and arches that lead to nowhere. This exciting setting intrigues me. It feels like I am in a storybook or a drawing. This world is put before me that has no meaning yet all the meaning in the world. I have my cute Vera Bradley bookbag that holds all of my things. I carry only the essentials. Textbooks for class, pens, pencils, hair ties, hand sanitizer, and notebooks. I also have been given a bracelet. It is made of red wooden beads and I quite like it. I get to match with all of these new people that I have met and I wear it proudly. The first thought that I had when I received it was “why me?” but that does not matter. I was chosen and I want to learn.
I love this space because it feels like an open playground. I can climb, sit and explore. It makes me feel free and like my mistakes can be erased just as the ones that are here in the drawing.
5. What are the given circumstances?
Past: I have entered to see a show in this theatre for my religion class. The only time that I have to finish my homework is right before the show. I hate that I have to bring my bookbag to the theatre, that feels so embarrassing. I am going to try my best not to draw attention to myself, but I am sure that people will wonder why I am reading a book in my seat. I have one class where I am reading the book, A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. I am not really interested in this. Some of the words on the page read like middle school fan-fiction. This book does not give me much hope for the way that people interpret religion in the modern day. What really interests me is the work that I am reading of Socrates or rather…Plato as he is who we hear from since we don’t have any of Socrates’ official documents. I am excited about writing a paper on this. It feels like it is more than just about religion. As I get ready to head to the theatre, I am thinking a lot about my appearance. I want to be dressy, but not dressed up, I don’t have very much time. I decided on a paisley patterned dress and a cardigan. As well as a sensible pair of shoes. I throw my clothes on and head out.
Present: I go to the box office to pick up my ticket. I forgot to bring mine from home and I am glad that I have the ability to pick it up there. I walk into the theatre and the house is packed. I am there about 10 minutes before the show started and needed to get to my seat. As I am walking down the aisle to my seat, everyone seems really excited about the show, myself included. I wish I did not have to do this homework. As the lights dim I suddenly feel the need to let everyone know what it is that I am reading. I stand and start reading. It feels amazing. That is until other people decide they want to share their thoughts as well. I do not agree with all of them. We all seem to be arguing until we hear music. It is amazing, I have never felt so excited to join in on something in my life. At this point I am going with the flow. I am so excited to meet all of these people and every moment feels like a completely new experience. There is joy and light and fun in this space and I have never felt anything like this. We are playing games and I feel like I am being myself. Although there are sometimes where I feel like I am getting the short end of the stick, in the end I am still having fun. I am not sure at first if I can trust everyone, but I will do my best. We have so much fun until we realize that we are going to lose a dear friend. The world turns upside down at this moment, but there is still calmness inside my body. I know that everything is going to be alright. I trust this community.
Future: Now that I have finally found the community that I have been so desperate for, I will make it my life’s mission to uphold these values. I learned kindness and unity here. I never want to let that go. I feel empowered, I feel strong and I wish for everyone else in the world to feel this way.
6. What is my relationship?
Religion: I was raised Southern Baptist and this influences the way that I think about religion quite a lot. When I was growing up a lot of the time religion was just something that I was supposed to believe in. I would hear the word but never feel it. When I got to college I was able to separate myself from the religion that I learned and re-learn things for me. I am still figuring it all out.
Community: I am sort of desperate for this. I want to fit in and have a group of friends that I can rely on so bad. I want to meet people and try new things and because I come from an area where a lot of people are close minded, it is hard for me to let go and be myself.
Jesus: From the moment that I see him he intrigues me. I am not sure if I can trust him right away, but I see the kind things that he does for others. He also teaches about kindness in a way that I had not thought of before. I want to know more about him. I am unable to commit to someone blindly and need to get to know them first because immediately fitting in has never been my strong suit. I have to do a lot of damage control when speaking to someone for the first time because sometimes I feel like I have an image to uphold. I don’t feel like I have to do this with him which makes me think about my choices and the way that I speak. I want to know what it is about this man that makes me feel safer than I had before. I don’t understand why he is doing all of these great things for other people but I have not felt that way yet.
Judas: We do not get along very well all the time. We share a big brother little sister dynamic that gets on my nerves occasionally but I do think he brings interesting ideas to the table. Sometimes he says things that make me question what Jesus is saying but I don’t always mind it because I like to think and reconsider. I want all of my choices in life to be real and thoughtful.
Rob: The kind of person you want to be when you grow up. Very stoic at first, but super down to Earth when you get to know her. I like when she plays music. It makes me feel like I am a part of something.
Caroline: She intimidates me a lot. I feel like I can’t trust her at first because she is much more confident than me.
Regan: He has a “don’t mess with me” vibe that makes him a little intimidating at first but he is one of the first people that I am able to connect with and we end up being there for each other throughout our time on stage. We end up dancing together multiple times and have formed a really beautiful friendship. In a lot of ways, he is who I connect with the most. We really do see eye to eye and make the same mistakes.
Ciarra: When I meet her she kind of scared me! I am not sure why she always wants to startle us! It comes off as a little rude. I have learned that she means well.
Gee Gee: I am envious of how cool she is. It is so effortless. I am often very excited to hangout with her and think she likes hanging out with me too.
Sarah: She is kind! We don’t really talk much but I like the things she has to say. We are the type of people who would not be best friends but if she waved to me on campus I would wave back.
Alivia: She inspires me and seems to want to. I like when we get to talk because she is the type of person who would be there for you no matter what. She is the reason that I think about joining the community. She lights the path for me.
Jonah: I am not sure how to feel about this guy. Sometimes we laugh and joke but I also get the sense that in the beginning we do not see eye to eye and he wants to joke around too much. Sometimes I like the silliness.
7. What do I want?
I want to understand the community that Jesus wants me to join. It does not always make sense to me but I explore his ideas with wide open eyes. I really want to know what this community means and how I can be a part of it mind, body, and soul.
8. What is in my way?
I don’t always know what to say and I don’t always trust what Jesus is talking about. I get so caught up in wanting him to like me that sometimes I forget why I want to be here in the first place.
Sometimes I feel discouraged because I don’t feel like I am connecting with everyone. I know things like that come with time but it frustrates me nonetheless.
9. What do I do to get what I want?
Participate and observe as much as possible. Try to jump in on the storytelling and be myself. I know that I am capable of doing so and will listen actively and intently.